Love & Hatemail

Ghostwriter for Hire

External Services:
  • love_hatemail@livejournal.com
Are you paralyzed to speak when near to the love of your life? Does your sworn enemy hardly know you exist? Allow me to be of assistance.

I will write letters to your specifications and for any situation: from fan mail to your favorite soap star to your valedictory speech. All proper nouns will be changed to protect your anonymity.

Proposing marriage? Proposing divorce? Drafting your sworn deposition before you enter the witness protection program? We can talk. I am willing to give private consultations, and ghostwrite a letter that will match your own writing style.

For a basic letter, email me at love_hatemail@yahoo.com and answer as many or as few of the following questions as you'd like:

1) What's the purpose of your letter?
2) What tone are you going for?
3) What's your ultimate goal?
4) What's your relationship to the recipient?
5) How long have you wanted to write this letter?
6) What's the incident that first made you think writing a letter would be a good idea?
7) Describe some related injustices/endearing discoveries/supporting incidents. Be as specific as possible.

drafting love notes, lubricating social situations, negotiating relationships, penning scathing letters, sending thank-you cards, sweettalking the parking commissioner, threatening legal action, typically getting my way